(chime-like music)
- Hi and welcome to Between the Lines,
I'm Lea Woodford, your host
and with me today is Susanna Liller.
You're an award-winning author of, "You Are a Heroine."
Now this book really, really touched me
because, of course, SmartFem.
This is really close to my heart!
- You're a heroine.
- Oh, well thank you,
but I want to know what inspired you to write the book.
- Well I have been working with women since 2000
and I've done different kinds of workshops
and retreats with them.
And what I was always amazed to discover
was they would tell me they lack confidence,
they have low self-esteem,
and these are women who are in the C-suite
in the top of their profession
and they still feel intimidated, don't want to speak up.
And so I was looking for ways to help with confidence
and I came across, in 2008, "The Heroine's Journey,"
which was called, "The Hero's Journey,"
made popular by Joseph Campbell.
But I turned it around to have it reflect women's stories
and it's a way to show women that they already are heroines.
They've already taken the risk to leap over a threshold
where they don't know what's coming,
but it's that bravery, the answer
what your heart is telling you to do
and that makes you a heroine.
And yes, it's tough, things happen,
you meet your dragons, your personal dragons,
but you get through it.
And then look where you are, you know,
you're stronger, wiser, ready for the next journey.
- What was really interesting about this book
is it's like a game,
I've never seen that in a self-help book before.
Can you elaborate on the game strategy?
- I call them tasks because it's all sort of,
you know when you think of "The Wizard of Oz"
and Dorothy gets a task to get the broomstick,
so they're on a quest in the book and people reading it.
And the game that you speak about is one
that I use in my retreats and workshops
to help women tap into their intuition.
To ask, "Where do I wannna be in three years?"
And not have the brain kick in and say,
"You should be financially secure,
you should, should, should."
But just to, I kind of lead them into a place
where it comes up organically
of what their life could look like in three years.
And women are amazed that things come up
that they never would've thought of
and I tell them, pay attention to that,
see what comes up and maybe follow it.
- Let me ask you this, women tend to self-sabotage a lot...
I know you do the retreats.
In the book, how do you cope when,
we all have those negative self-doubts,
how do you cope with that?
- Yes, and so the term in "The Heroine's Journey"
is the threshold guardian.
So that's the voice in your head that's saying,
"You can't do this, you're not enough,
"no one will ever read it."
And so, of course, it took me five years to write it,
that kept coming up in my head.
So I think the way that I cope with it is,
I listen, I say, "Thank you for sharing,
"now get behind me,"
and I put one foot in front of the other and keep going.
Just I never
gave up,
and I think you have to believe in yourself,
as much as it can be hard to do that at times.
- It is really hard!
And what was the hardest part of writing this book?
Because it's an intense book, it's a great book,
there's a lot of information in here.
- I think, Lea, I think
it's just what we've been talking about,
believing that it was worthy
to be out there
and that people would read it.
And, you know, I remember
talking to my book coach
at the beginning and saying,
"I don't even wanna tell people I'm writing a book."
Because if you do that,
then you're raising their expectations
and what if I decide it's no good
and I don't want to publish it?
So as I hear myself saying that I think,
everybody goes through this.
And I did it
and I finished it
and I even got an award at the summit.
(laughs)
And so don't listen to those voices,
those negative voices in your head.
- And we all have 'em,
they creep in at the worst times.
Now how has writing this book changed your life?
- Oh, so it's given me confidence
that I can, if I look at myself and say,
I took a journey to write the book,
I met my dragons,
and I came out the other end.
I accomplished it, it's given me more confidence.
But what's interesting
is here I am at the brink of another journey
because you write it, you publish it
and then it's, now what?
- Right.
- Now what do I do?
And so I'm working on that,
I'm hiring a coach to help me, at your recommendation.
You need help, you...
Now that's another message of the book, is you're not alone,
there's so many heroines walking the journey path,
we're doing it together.
And it's one thing we really have in common,
if we wanna develop and become more evolved
we have to make those leaps into the unknown,
which you've done many times.
- I'm still doing, I've slayed a few dragons in my time!
Lets talk about this cup you gave me, I love this
and I love the dragon metaphor.
First of all, I'm a huge "Game of Thrones" fan, so
- Me too! (laughs)
- This was really a personal journey for you,
you got really personal in this book.
Can you share with our viewing audience
just your experience,
your favorite chapter.
- OK, well I guess...
one of the things they tell women to do
is look back on your journeys
and you will realize how brave you are,
and the courage that you had.
And we tend to forget, we just keep going on.
So when I looked back one of my favorite stories
is leaving my company, that I was part of for 12 years,
and starting a consulting business with a woman.
And we were going gung-ho,
we were hired back by the company
to actually do facilitation and mediation.
It was successful
and maybe four months later
she was telling me she didn't want to be my partner.
And I say in the book,
I don't think I ever would have left my corporate job
if it hadn't been that I was leaving it with her
and now I'm finding myself alone.
And it was
rejection times 100!
But it was the best thing that ever happened to me
because I was able to
boot myself up and do it
and prove to myself I could do it by myself.
But one of my dragons has always been,
you can't do it alone, you can't do it by yourself.
And, yes we need a team to help
but you also have to believe
that you can create your journey
and the life that you wanted.
- What is one piece of advice
you would give an aspiring writer?
- I would say not to give up,
because those voices will get louder and louder.
You'll think it's... - So true!
- Yes! - So true!
- And to get help.
And so I had a book coach at the beginning,
then I had an editor who really helped me.
And then I found the person who helped me publish,
Emerald Lake Books.
They all helped me in their own way, yeah.
- Now, Susanna, if you could go back
and talk to your 21 year old self,
what would you say?
- Stop caring so much about what everybody else thinks,
trying to fit in
and realize that you are
your own unique,
precious self.
And just own that.
I wouldn't have listened, I wouldn't have listened!
- Why do we do that to ourselves as women?
- Yeah, I don't know.
I think because, all the magazines that, you know,
you pour over and the movies and TV.
You're given all these examples and you think
that's the way I'm supposed to be.
You know how many times did I used to straighten my hair
and iron it, you know because curly hair wasn't in
when I was 21 years old.
And now I've accepted,
I'm a curly-haired girl.
- [Lea] And a beautiful curly-haired girl!
- [Susanna] Thank you.
- Did you ever experience writer's block?
- Yes and what I've done and this is another big help,
maybe, it was for me.
So Julia Cameron, the writer of "The Artist's Way",
recommends three pages of,
morning pages,
just dumping on the page all your thoughts.
And it's a way to take all those critical thoughts,
dump 'em on the page to get rid of them.
She calls it vacuuming out your brain
and I use that when I get stuck and it works.
I've also worked with my non-dominant hand,
asking a question with my right hand
and having my left hand respond.
- Interesting!
- Really interesting.
- So what's next for you?
- I'm working with a coach. (laughs)
- You know it's funny, we all need mentors.
- Right.
- And I think so many women are afraid to ask for help
and, you know, there are amazing people
that are willing to step up and help
but you have to ask.
- Right, so I'm getting my ask on
and working with a coach
but what it is for me is how best to bring this forward
because I think it's such an important message
that women need to realize how brave they already are.
And not to point to somebody else and say,
"Oh, she started a company and I didn't."
No, you have done things, you're a heroine,
that's the message.
- I love that!
Thank you so much for helping women everywhere,
it's an important message.
Again, "You Are a Heroine".
- Thank you Lea.
- You are so welcome.
This is Lea Woodford with Between the Lines,
thanks for watching.