got a bad diagnosis what if it's calling
you to be a better person somebody left
you what if it's calling you to be a
better person your businesses go down
the toilet
what if it's calling you to be a better
person what if it's there to wake you up
from who you were to wake you up to who
you truly are to being inside of your
purpose to be the kind of person that
you want to be that your heart and your
soul calls you out to be it is my belief
that each one is unique there isn't
another one of you on the planet and no
one has the right as the right to tell
you your last
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my name is Dave Aaron I'm the founder of
full monty leadership dot-com for months
in leadership com we are we provide you
with the essential leadership skills to
get you to the top and keep you there
all right I want to jump into today's
show because six mental toughness keys
authentic purpose driven leaders live by
now many of you know that back in
nineteen ninety something happened to me
that was pretty serious in my reality at
least and that is that I fell off a
mountain
however without going into too much
detail right here what I want you to
know is that yes in 1990 I fell off a
mountain I got smashed to pieces my
entire reality got broken not just my
body not just my face which was
completely destroyed and reconstructed
but my point to you is this is here's my
belief I believe that we all have Falls
mine was quite literal obviously I fell
off a mountain yours may not have been
literal yours might have been horrible
diagnosis at bankruptcy a divorce you
lost somebody you love these are all
ways for us to fall and there's great
metaphysical stories around this is
great mythical stories around people
going through their their fall there's
the term the dark night of the soul and
these are experiences where we have our
fall where we go through an experience
of having fall from the reality that
we're in into another reality and you
know I've said often times that I pretty
much physically looked pretty normal
within about five months of that fall
surprisingly and I got a lot of great
surgeons did amazing work and if you
didn't know me I look pretty normal on
the outside but on the inside of course
I was still very damaged and very her
emotionally mentally spiritually
physically at every possible level
although I looked okay and one of the
things that I came to as a conclusion
was
that that fall was there to wake me up
it was there to wake me up and so I want
you to consider for a moment when you to
just take a moment and consider what was
your fault
if we all have Falls what was yours
what is yours maybe you're in it right
now what was your fall and more
importantly than the fall because the
fall itself is actually not that
important I know it seems really
important at the time if somebody had
told me mine wasn't important when I was
going through it I would have punched
him in the head I'm sure or certainly
shouted some kind of abuse at them at
the time but the truth of the matter is
it's actually not that important the
fall is a catalyst to get that the fall
is a catalyst it's a catalyst to
something else the fall is there to wake
you up from something and to wake you up
to something so I had a fall 1990 it was
there to wake me up from something and
it's there to wake me up to something so
the question is what was it waking me up
from we can you know when you think
about your fault what was it what is it
waking you what was it waking you up
from for many people it's waking them up
from the from the idea that they have to
work 90 hours a week for some people
it's waking them up from from the fact
that they're workaholic from the fact
that they are not taking care of their
health
for some people it's waking that you
know there's all kinds of reasons that
waking waking you up from what I mean by
that is what is it waking you up from
meaning what is it you are doing
automatically that you do without even
thinking about it you've got a thousand
justifications for doing but it's pretty
much automatic what is your for waking
you up from that's the question that you
want to consider and then when you've
considered that here's another piece for
you to grasp it's not just waking you up
from something but waking you up to
something
so if it's gonna wake you up from
something then you become awake to
something you
to see something you hadn't seen before
you get to realize something you maybe
hadn't realized before my fall was to
wake me up and I'm gonna be really
straight with you was to wake me up from
my ego see before I felt I felt like I
was the most successful person I'd ever
been and that was certainly true but I
was beginning to feel egoic I mean I was
I actually believed that I could change
people I believed that it was me that
was changing people I actually believed
that and not saying it doesn't ever
happen of course it still happens but
I'll actually live from that place I was
speaking all over the world I was having
all kinds of success but I actually felt
like I was doing it not that they were
doing it I felt like I was the Guru and
that's why I actually don't like that
term like it was I had to wake up from
that that I was on this self a self
installed pedestal and they needed to
wake up from the fact that I was on that
pedestal in fact you've heard me say
that when I fell I didn't for 120 feet
of a mountain although I did what I
actually fell off was 120 foot
self-imposed pedestal that's what I
actually had to fall off that was what I
had to wake up from
so what was I waking up to well what I
had to wake up to was my purpose that
was not anything to do with my ego I had
to wake up to something far greater for
deep purpose so what are you waking up
from what is your phone calling you to
wake up from and what is your phone
calling you to wake up to what is it
that you need to find what is it that
you need to see that you're in an
automatic slumber that when you actually
get a crack on the head you get the
diagnosis you get the bankruptcy you get
those horrible things from happening
what is it that it's waking you up to
that's my question
you see now here's the interesting thing
about this when we have a fall as I said
whether it's literal financial mental
emotional whatever it is when we have a
full we feel incredibly threatened you
see everything that was real everything
that was your usual reality everything
that was the way it is is suddenly
devastated is suddenly taken away it is
no more and in that moment
we feel incredibly threatened a reality
as we know it is gum that feels like a
threat now here's what I want you to
understand that when we are threatened
the ego goes into a full-blown
overcharge
it just goes crazy it's gonna try and
protect you it's not bad it's just
trying to protect you and try to protect
you by making things as normal as
possible and you've just destroyed
normal with whatever happened in the
situation that has created the fall now
here's what I want you to know about
that when you feel threatened when we
feel threatened and certainly when I
feel threatened we become very selfish
when I felt threatened I became a
complete selfish wanker I mean a total
selfish asshole it was all about me it
was all about what makes me happy and it
was all really pretty much screw
everybody it's all about me it's about
self-preservation that's what happens
when you feel under threat and so as a
result we then go out looking for things
that will make us happy but the thing
you need to know about that is happiness
is transitional it's passing by
happiness is not a permanent state it's
something that's just passing by it's
very different than joy happiness is a
state that comes it goes it's
transitional it just flows through us
the thing about happiness happiness
tends to happen when something happens
from the outside in somebody comes up in
tickles you you feel happy you see a
comedy you feel happy somebody gives you
something you feel happy whereas joy is
a different thing joy is a deeper
feeling happiness is an emotion whereas
joy is a feeling when a feeling has much
greater depth and what I want to put to
you is this that what I had to wake up
from was my pursuit of happiness
one had to wake up to was my purpose and
in finding true joy and here's what I
discovered that I want to share with you
that joy comes from serving joy comes
from serving you see your true purpose
is always connected to how you serve if
you're serving then you're probably in
line with your purpose if you want more
joy if you want more focus if you want
more clarity then serve give if you want
greater alignment with your purpose
serve maybe right now in this very
moment maybe the problem that that that
big thing that you are dealing with is
calling you to make you better
it's actually there to assist you being
better lost a million dollars can you
use this moment to bring it back lost a
person you love
some of you deeply care about whether
that was the end of a relationship or
the passing of somebody ask yourself
what can you do in this moment to bring
it back and I think you'll discover the
answer is usually nothing there's
nothing you can do to instantaneously
bring back the million bucks you lost or
the last ten bucks you lost or the
person who left there's nothing you can
do so you can choose to suffer or you
can choose to serve
you can choose to serve by making this
moment a little better for somebody else
a little better for those around you
something happened to me back in
2008-2009 probably happened to many
people who are even watching this and
that is that I went through a financial
disaster a bit of a struggle to say the
least they made things very tough and I
went into that protective mode which is
what we all go into initially and then I
chose something else I chose to serve
and the first thing I did was add to my
email signature the word gratitude I
moved to a state of gratitude I began to
recognize that what if this whatever
it's happening is there it's calling me
to be better you've got a bad diagnosis
what if it's calling you to be a better
person somebody left you what if it's
calling you to be a better person your
businesses go down the toilet
what if it's calling you to be a better
person what if it's there to wake you up
from who you were to wake you up to who
you truly are to being inside of your
purpose to be the kind of person that
you want to be that your heart and your
soul calls you out to be what if it's
there to call you to be a better person
that's what I want you to know you can
suffer or you can serve and immediately
you commit to serving it won't feel that
good initially but very quickly it will
shift it will transform it will
transform you at every level of your
frequency or every level of your
resonance and every level of your
thinking will all change dramatically
and dynamically when you choose to serve
rather than suffer so how do you get
that mental toughness that the great
authentic and Purpose Driven leaders
have what are the six keys that you can
apply to your life right now the first
one is become present become present
actually notice where you are number one
notice where you are the is your head
somewhere else you know
where are you so you're you know right
now I'm here I'm sitting here I can feel
the weight of my bum on the chair
well how are you breathing become
present notice the light around you
become totally present number one number
two become mindful become mindful of the
emotions that you're running notice that
emotions are transitory notice that
emotions are moving through you
happiness sadness anger those are all
transitional they're not part they're
not permanent none of that is permanent
so just become mindful of it mindful of
it means don't judge it don't get too
harsh on it don't say oh it's terrible
it's bad or any of those things just
notice it just become mindful of it
that's what it is number three the third
key to be it's having that mental
toughness that every purpose-driven
authentic leader has is this choose to
be loving rather than choosing to be
right when we are hurt when we feel the
loss when we are in pain when when when
shit happens it's very easy to look out
there and go it's damn it's their fault
they did this it's very easy to blame
but choose to be loving rather than be
right you might still be right but you
can choose to be loving it's not about
making you wrong but you can choose to
be loving and then the fourth key in
this process follows directly in line
with that choose to be loving which is
apply empathy and compassion empathy and
compassion you've heard me talk about
this on some of the other shows but if
you haven't I want to quickly go over it
with you empathy is putting yourself in
someone else's shoes allowing yourself
to step into their reality get a sense
of what it's like for them see maybe
they're being an asshole because they
feel threatened maybe you are
threatening them maybe that's not your
intention maybe your intention is to be
incredibly loving and kind but they're
reading it as a threat so choose to be
in a place of compassion as well as
empathy empathy is to put yourself in
their shoes but compassion is while
standing in their shoes is to do
something about it to take an action the
fifth key that all mentally tough
Purpose Driven authentic leaders live by
the fifth key is the one that I actually
mentioned a few minutes ago and that is
to move into a state of gratitude become
deeply grateful become grateful the fact
that you can breathe be grateful for the
fact that your feet touch the floor in
the morning when you get out of bed and
that you can stand up straight be
grateful for the fact that your have all
your limbs be grateful for that your
heart beats
be grateful for any kindness that has
been shown to you in the past even if
you can't see in the present be grateful
for that somebody gifted you life even
if you had a terrible parent or terrible
parents they gifted you life you don't
have to like them you don't have to hang
out with them but you could become
grateful for the fact that they brought
you into the world that they gave you
life you can be grateful for the moments
I mean maybe you've just come out of
this horrible breakup but you can be
grateful for the gifts that were given
to you inside that relationship for the
moments of bliss that you maybe had and
maybe for the wake-up call that you're
being given right now I'm not suggesting
that you're gonna feel particularly
grateful for that in the moment of the
pain but you can go to that a little bit
later but in this moment while you're in
the pain while the pain is calling you
to be better choose to be grateful and
the sixth key that all mentally tough
purpose-driven authentic leaders live by
is the one that I started out with which
is that they are committed to serve
become dynamically committed to serve
sit up focus on how can I serve who can
I serve what can I serve right now what
can I serve one of the greatest cures
for depression is to find a way to serve
others
find a way to serve you go but I don't
have anything yes you do yes you do find
out how you can serve what you can do to
serve in this moment if you're in pain
if you're in struggle ask yourself why
are you here why are you in this pain
what is it there to wake you up from
what is this pain and the struggle that
you're going through what is it calling
you to wake up from and what is it
calling you to wake up to what is this
pain this struggle this challenge
calling you to remember what if it's
calling you to remember your purpose not
here not in a head level but at a deep
heart and soul level people contrive
purpose with their head but purpose has
got nothing to do with your head it's
got nothing to do with your contrived
ideas of what you think your purpose
should be it's got everything to do with
your heart and your soul crying out to
make the difference how is your problem
how is your fall going to make you a
better person how is this fall this
situation this circumstance going to
allow you to access greater deeper
greatness within you how is this
situation calling you to access the deep
greatness that has laid dormant within
you for way too long that's my question
to you and that my friend is what I want
you to become curious about it's dove
Baron Full Monty leadership calm saying
stay curious my friend stay curious
about how you can apply these six keys
of mental toughness that every oath
tic purpose-driven leader lives by and
how whatever it is that's going on in
your life is actually calling you to
your deep greatness deep greatness that
has laid dormant within you for far too
long
if you are indeed committed to accessing
and developing that deep greatness
within you and reach out to me
dove Baron at full monty leadership calm
I am your deep greatness mentor and
coach so next time this is dog baron
full monty leadership calm stay curious
my friends stay curious
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