we have to build calluses not on our
hands not on our arms but on our heart
and on our mind
calluses that will make us tough that
make us stronger but we think that
people who are armored are tough and the
thick of the armor the tougher we think
they are but the truth is the thicker
your Armour is the weaker you are you
see the beast within you is not just
your anger and your rage
it is also contains your joy
it contains your sadness it contains
your grief it contains the range of
those emotions that you've made not okay
that you've repressed and said it's not
okay to feel those where you've
categorized feelings as good or bad
rather than just your feelings that are
the whole of who you are you see the
Beast is all of that
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it is my belief that each one is unique
unique there isn't another one of you on
the photo and no one has the right is
the right to tell you feel less than
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tell my beverage in hand hope you've got
yours ready to go
my name is Dolph Baron founder of Full
Monty
leadership calm and all and welcome you
to this particular show all right today
we're gonna be talking about something
that I don't think most people were
willing to talk about so I'm gonna start
right here by saying this I see you I
see you I see you hidden under the cloak
of your own comfort I see you I see your
magnificent rage I see your watts of war
I see you we turn our back on the beast
within us we turn our back on that which
is deep within us we go looking for our
deep greatness but we can't find it if
we turn our back on the beast we've been
softened by the commercial media that
has told us to want more comfort more
joy more ease and there's nothing wrong
with those things of course you want
comfort you want joy you want ease but
it's not exclusive to the beast in fact
your beast is the way to access it I
know that you want to believe that it
was easy for them and it's hard for you
but I want you to know that the heart is
what makes your life work it's the heart
that is actually giving you access to
the true beauty of your own life just
for a moment let's imagine that you and
I are on holiday together the you and I
in Africa on this beautiful beach in
Africa we're walking along this gorgeous
sandy beach and as we walk along this
long flat beach we're looking out for
this gorgeous gorgeous ocean and taking
you all in the the magnificent beauty
that surrounds us we come to the edge of
a giant cliff
and as we get to the bottom of that
cliff we stand there and we see that
there are some rocks below us and as
their eruption laws we like kids we pick
up the rocks and we begin to skip the
rocks across the water watching the
rocks hit the water and they're like
glisten as they hit and then suddenly I
reach down and they pick up a rock and I
look at that rock and I wonder about
that rock and I don't know why but I put
that rock in my pocket I put the rock in
my pocket and then I pick up another
rock and continue skipping and we we
play together and we have fun and it's
wonderful and then about a week later
we're on our plane and we're flying home
and as we're flying back we're having
our conversation about all the things
that we enjoyed about being in Africa
and how wonderful it was now beautiful
it wasn't the amazing people we met and
then I put my hand in the pot in my
pocket and I pull out a rock that same
rock and you go is that from the beach I
go it is it's from the same Beach you go
why did you keep it I don't know I just
felt there was something special about
this rock like what I don't know maybe
it's a diamond and we both laugh I put
the rock back in my pocket and we
continued on and about a week later I
find myself in New York City and I don't
know why but I've been carrying this
rock around with me in my pocket and I'm
in New York City and I'm in that
particular area the diamond district
with my Hasidic brothers who all work
with diamonds and I figure let's find
out and I find a way in and I go in and
I start talking to this gentleman and I
show him my rock and I said I just
wanted to find out is is it possible
that this might be more than a rock and
he says I have no idea could be a rock
could be something else where did you
find it I tell him I tell him the story
of it and he goes do you want to find
out I said yeah he goes well to find out
we're gonna have to do something and I
go yeah and he goes Wow yeah I think we
got x-ray or something
no no we've got to break it open oh but
then I could lose my rocket he goes yeah
hmm I will have to choose to lose what I
have to find out what's inside he goes
yeah I go okay let's do it let's do it
so he takes the rock and he takes it and
he spins up his grinding wheel and his
knee no it's the hard wheel that's
spinning hard and he takes the walk and
he begins to push it into the grinder
and there's a noise as the dirt and the
rock fly off it all those things you can
hear that grinding sound and then
suddenly he stops blows it looks at it
and shows it to me and there's a shiny
surface something almost glass like
reflecting back I go what is it he goes
come back tomorrow like ok I come back
the next day I walk in he goes do you
want to see your rock
I do goes over to his drawer opens the
drawer takes out and shows me this
diamond
Wow it's a diamond
he's polished all the dirt and all the
grind and all the rock off it to reveal
the diamond that was underneath but it
would never have been revealed if I was
not willing to give up the rock in the
form that it was in it would never have
been revealed if I was not willing to
place the rock at the grindstone until
we are willing to do that we never get
to find the diamond but it is that
hardness that is the Beast that reveals
the Beast
it is the hardness of our lives that
were avoiding that actually makes our
life magnificent and beautiful and so
all the facets are revealed but most
people won't give up the rock recently I
had the honor of interviewing Peter sage
sage like they like the herb Peter sage
the Peter sage is an amazing man because
Peter sage is a guy who has been on the
on the world circuit as a very
successful entrepreneur a very
successful businessman he's a speaker
worldwide global coach mentor has worked
with some of the greatest leaders there
is and he's and he's worked with them
and guided them and he you know a
best-selling speaker best-selling author
all those kinds of things in many ways
Peter was already a diamond but I got to
interview him after he'd been released
from spending six months in Pentonville
prison Pentonville prison is one of the
toughest harshest prisons in the UK he
didn't go in there at some reality TV
show he was actually in there as he
describes it as an undercover agent of
change but he actually was he had to go
and spend time in that prison he wasn't
put there because to do some exercise
this was real now by the way you should
know that Peter does not have a criminal
record
he was never convicted of a crime he was
actually put in there for contempt
that's a whole other conversation that
we need to have but
not right now but my point here is that
here's a guy who was already a diamond
already shining in the world and had to
go into jail it would have been very
easy for him or I or any of you to feel
like you're crushed under the weight of
that experience can you imagine having
to spend six months in the toughest
prison in the UK or in any prison for
that matter wouldn't that destroy most
people but in my interview with Peter
here's what we got to know yes he was
already a diamond however his time in
that prison
polished that diamond new faces of that
diamond were revealed and little pieces
of his ego that have been stuck to the
surface got pushed away but for most of
us we get crushed with crushed by the
hardness of life your hardness the
hardness that is coming at you feels
like it's too much it is not there to
make you worse it is there to make you
better
it is there to polish the facet but we
want to be champions we want to be
superb and we want to do it from the
comfort of our living room listen you
don't get to be a champion in your comfy
chair I know you like to scream at the
TV set when you're your player doesn't
score misses the shot but at least
they're on the ice at least they're on
the field at least they're on the pitch
you don't get to be a champion in the
comfort of your living room those people
that you cheer for day after day week
after week month after month year after
year they push their face against the
grindstone it is not there to weaken you
it is there to strengthen you it is
there to polish you Robert Bly in its
book iron John which I highly recommend
you read talks a lot about this about
finding this wild part of us that there
is a wild man a wild woman within all of
us but unfortunately most of us are too
scared
to ever buck it out the lake of our
psyche and find that while part of
ourselves were too buried in our comfort
to actually confront what we need to
confront under the recesses of our
psyche is where this wild part of us
lives and it waits it sleeps it is there
in what Bly called the nourishing
darkness but we don't want to look into
the darkness we want to only look into
the comfort into the light and so few
will ever have the courage to go back
they cling to the comfort we cling to
the softness and it is made as soft it
has taken away the very essence of who
we are and so we we have very mixed up
understanding of what strong actually is
you see people will look at somebody
going through something and maybe you
lost a loved one and and that person
isn't crying it doesn't seem to feel
anything and we say look at how tough
they are
that's not tough that's armored its
armored we have to build calluses not on
our hands not on our arms but on our
heart and on our mind
calluses that will make us tough that
make us stronger
but we think that people who are armored
are tough and the thicker the armor the
tougher we think they are but the truth
is the thicker your armor is the weaker
you are you see the beast within you is
not just your anger and your rage
it is also contains your joy
it contains your sadness it contains
your grief it contains the range of
those emotions that you've made not okay
that you've repressed and said it's not
okay to feel those where you've
categorized feelings as good or bad
rather than just your feelings that are
the whole of who you are you see the
beast is all of that but instead you try
to be the tough strong guy because of
your armor or the tough strong woman
because of your armor that doesn't make
you stronger getting to know the Beast
is what makes you more powerful gives
you access to the deep greatness that
awaits within you when I was a kid I
went to a secular school and I went to
that school and every single day as far
as I can remember was tough it was
particularly tough for a kid like me who
as I've told you in other shows you know
I was always softer and spiritual and
more emotionally connected and every day
I would go to this school as one of two
people in the entire school who was
Jewish there was another Jewish person
the other Jewish person was the
headmaster but he wasn't letting anybody
know he was Jewish it was a pretty
racist environment and every single day
I would show up at school and some kid
would do this to me now was that you
know don't talk to the hand know what
that was was the Jews killed our Lord I
didn't know what it meant I didn't know
why it were there was only I can kill
anybody why was I being punished for
killing this Lord who I knew nothing
about every single day Jew boy I would
get the criticism I get the judgment I
would get the harshness I get beaten up
I get
all of those things and then one day you
know after praying hoping dreaming of
something easy it's something that would
be great
a place where I wouldn't get this every
single day I wanted that so bad so
desperately one day I got to be 11 years
old just like the rest of us I get to go
to high school I got to go to high
school and the high school I got to go
to was called King David King David high
school what a joy how exciting to be
able to go to King David high school I
get to go there why is it exciting I'll
tell you why it was exciting because it
was a Jewish school so I'm not gonna get
this every day finally my prayers are
answered except that I was arrived at
the school gate having taken a couple of
buses and walked in the rain and watch
the kids of the school get out of their
mom and dad's cars and what are the cars
that jag you was there Rolls Royces
there Bentley's there these fabulous
fabulous vehicles and it became clear to
me how wealthy these children were and
every day I just got to be told how I
was not as good as them every day I
envied those kids every day I wanted it
to be easier I gotten exactly what I
asked for which was to be out of the
school that did this and now every day
what I got was I got ridiculed I got
judged I got told that I wasn't as good
as then because well guess what my
uniform was secondhand my shoes was
secondhand they were all in their new
shoes they were in that new clothes they
were in their new uniforms they were all
looking at me and telling me how they
were so much better than I was and I
wanted it to be easier every day I
envied them every day at school
I am vide them but now they Envy me not
because I'm richer or more successful
than they are
in fact many of them are far more
wealthy than I am but here's what it is
they want access to that part of
themselves that is the deep greatness
the envy that they want that they've
been too softened they want to know what
it really takes to go to that depth my
father
filled me with insecurities my mother
did a pretty good job too my stepfather
and my grandfather gave me ridicule
these were not great things to have they
did not make my life easy but they those
things that insecurity that that
inadequacy those days at school
those were the inception of the beast
those were the parts of me not to
repress those were the parts of me that
refined me those were the things that
took me and ground me against the wheel
to polish the diamond that is me a part
of me that would never have been
revealed in the softness in the comfort
of life yes you want your life to be
better you want your life to be easier
but you have to know we have to know how
to find joy in the grind the Beast is
not the opposite of your joy the beast
is not fighting to keep you from your
joy your beast is actually giving you
access giving you access to that full
range of emotions that are the truth of
who you are but you can't get to it in
the comfort and that's why the tough
things have happened in your life
they're not there to repress you they're
there to reveal you the inadequacies the
insecurities they're not there to make
you quit they are there to ask you to
step up to hone your skills to upgrade
all of who you are
asking you to be softened or repressed
but to bring yourself up to polish that
diamond embrace your fear embrace your
anger embrace the Beast within you
because that beast within you that is
the full spectrum of all of your
emotions has the strength has the power
to pull open the bars to battle down the
walls of the prison you've built this
kept you inside and free you to the
world so stay curious my friend stay
curious about the beast within you stay
curious about that most important
conversation you need to have with
yourself in realizing that the hardness
and the toughness was not made to
destroy you
it was made to refine you and reveal you
until next time this is dove Baron Full
Monty leadership calm stay curious my
friend stay curious
I am to tell you the less and less
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